It is the one question I try to avoid at all costs. One simple yet prying question that pops up at every family gathering. “Y el novio?” Why are family members so invested in a boyfriend being in your life? Why does Latin culture (or any culture) care so much about relationships?  Like hello! I graduated college with a degree pero all you care about is if si tengo novio?! In the latin culture mamas latinas protect their daughters more than their sons. Although they raise us to be strong, smart and proud they still think we are fragile compared to men. I believe it’s because most Latina moms were sheltered during their childhood, they try to shelter their daughters too.  I was not allowed to have a boyfriend for most of my life, because they would be a distraction to my studies and only lead to bad things, like wanting sex from you and leave, or get you pregnant and not help you take care of the child. Growing up, I was given many other “reasons” to just avoid relationships. This is not to say I did not date; Mama let me have one boyfriend in high school but it didn’t last long (a week), and when it was over, she made sure to emphasize her reasons to not date. I did have a boyfriend in college, the time I could officially start dating. We dated for almost 2 years but things didn’t end too well. Now that I’m out of college and single my mom doesn’t seem to like it much. Cada vez que my uncles or cousins suggest going out, she says, “Vaya, de pronto te encuentras un novio.” I wish she means it as a joke but sadly, she’s serious. “Será que eres lesbiana?”, she will jokingly say, knowing que me gusta los hombres. “Creo que tú tienes un problema, no los hombres.” No tengo un problema, thank you very much. Honestly there is nothing wrong with wanting to be single for a while. I’m happy, carefree and glowing. This is an adventure that I want to explore more, find out things about myself that I have yet to know. 

Does a man really have to be in my life in order for me to be accepted as fully successful?